


Consulting Sebastian

by Vinushuka



Series: Apocalyptica on the move [7]
Category: Apocalyptica (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:08:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23499544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vinushuka/pseuds/Vinushuka
Summary: Anna sees a dream about visiting Patrik and his cats. Her intuition tells her that the dream was actually a vision of the future, when Patrik is living with Naoki and Sebastian, her guardian angel, is again using Patrik as his human disguise.In real life Anna is searchin feverishly for Mikael to consult Sebastian about her miscarriage and plans for the future. She manages to arrange a dinner meeting with Mikael, but it turns out that Sebastian isn't there with him. When Sebastian eventually arrives, their discussion leads them to unchartered waters and the meeting ends in Sebastian's sudden disappearance. This isn't the first time he vanishes from Anna life and breaks her heart in the process.
Relationships: Johanna Ahlbäck/Perttu Kivilaakso, Mikko Sirén/Original Male Character(s), Perttu Kivilaakso/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Apocalyptica on the move [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1408180
Kudos: 2





	1. A visit to Patrik and his cats

I still had the memory of his zit in my fingertips. The thing felt hard and painful through his shirt.

“I’ve been scratching it all day and it’s irritated,” Patrik confessed and shrugged his shoulders. “I hate it when they come at the back, or worse still, at the butt”, he grinned.

“Yeah, his butt… Would he let me touch his zit if it was there?” I thought but kept my mouth shut.

I wondered, why he told me that he would be alone at home during the weekend. Naoki would travel to a wedding in France and Patrik was staying home to take care of their cats. I missed him with every cell of my body and now he was alone at home. Finally, I could not stand my longing anymore. I picked up my cellphone and sent him a message, hoping that he would invite me to a visit or something.

“Hi Patrik, I miss you and your zit. Is it still sore?”

Sometimes he replied straightaway but obviously this wasn’t one of those times. I had already given up hope and was watching at afternoon news with Yusuke, when my phone finally clinked indicating an incoming message. I picked up my phone and headed downstairs to my spare study to be able to concentrate on our discussion.

“It’s better already but I could use some company. Would you like to come and see me and the cats tonight? I can cook us something.”

His invitation made me want to jump of joy. I was so glad that I had grabbed the opportunity now that Naoki was away. When I typed my reply to him, excitement made my hands shake.

“Yes, I would love to see you and the cats. I’ve never seen you cooking, so I’m looking forward to that too!”

We agreed to meet at about half past six that night. I had barely time to take a shower and make myself look presentable, so I decided to use my own car instead of public transport. The apartment house, where Patrik and Naoki had moved in, was situated at about twenty minutes’ drive away from my house. It was an old and a bit shabby building, but I didn’t mind. I had lived in a similar one earlier in my life. I stopped the car on the street passing the house and gave a call to Patrik.

“Hi Patrik, I’m in front of your house at this moment. Where can I park here?”

“Ah… There are couple of parking places for guests in front of the house. I think one of them is vacant now”, I heard Patrik’s voice a bit faintly. He was probably peeking out of the window.

I had just parked the car on one of the guest places, when Patrik turned up at the front door.

“Welcome Anna! Nice to see you here finally,” he beamed at me making me feel weak. I would never get used to his presence that affected me like a drug. I let him give me his bearhug before we climbed the stairway up to his second-floor apartment. Although I had never been there, I knew his home very well because of the numerous photos he had sent me from there.

“The cats have probably hidden themselves in the bedroom or under the sofa”, I said glancing around at the very empty looking living room.”

“Yeah, they were playing here before I left. My best guess is that they are under the sofa”, Patrik said rubbing his chin.

I didn’t wait for him to start looking for the cats but got down on my knees to have a peek under the sofa. I was greeted with a hiss and two fierce, yellow eyes.

“I found one”, I called Patrik triumphantly.

“She will come out when she feels safe enough, but you could always try to bribe her”, Patrik grinned and reached out his hand to pull me back on my feet.

“What about cooking some dinner. At least my cats can’t resist the smell of meat or fish”, I proposed rubbing Patrik’s belly with my palm.

“That’s an excellent idea, besides I’m getting hungry too. I have some seasoned chicken legs in the fridge. We could bake them and make some salad to go with them. They’re quite hot, though.”

“I don’t mind but the cats probably will,” I remarked.

“We can give them some fish. They come running every time I serve it,” Patrik proposed.

“Ok, let’s get going. I can help you with the salad.”

I must admit, I couldn’t keep my hands off my cooking mate while he opened the package and arranged the chicken legs on a pan for baking in the oven. I folded my arms around him and rested my chin on his back.

“Your hair is so lovely”, I mumbled. “Will you open your ponytail for me after the dinner?”

“Yeah, sure, but cooking is easier when it’s tied up,” Patrik promised as he was pushing the pan into the oven. After doing that, he dug up the fish from the fridge. Immediately, two of the three cats sneaked into the kitchen and started rubbing against his legs.

“See, it works!” he beamed and filled two bowls with the fish. “Why don’t you serve these, so that they learn that you’re their mom.”

“Really, am I their mom now?” I asked, not believing my ears.

“Yeah, Naoki isn’t much into cats. I guess he’s afraid of them or something.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I just can’t imagine my life without cats.”

“They are my babies”, Patrik said and suddenly his eyes were flooded with tears.

His reaction took me by surprise. I remembered his remark way back, when I told him that I was pregnant again. He told me that someday he wanted to have a baby with me even if It required a miracle. At the time I didn’t take him seriously but now I it looked like he meant what he said.

To hide my confusion, I took the bowls from Patrik and offered them to the cats that were watching my every move with keen eyes. When I had put the bowls down on the floor, the cats forgot my presence completely and concentrated only on their evening meal. 

While the chicken legs were baking in the oven, I helped Patrik to prepare the salad and lay the table. Since we still had some time, Patrik showed me his extensive collections of music, games and movies. He probably could have ranted forever about his favorite games and movies, but the buzz of the timer saved me. We returned to the kitchen to retrieve the chicken from the oven and picked up something to drink from the fridge.

The baked chicken legs turned out to be crispy and well-seasoned. Both of us were already hungry so we ate without talking much. While we were finishing our meal, the last one of the three cats sneaked close to the table and a let out a sound that could hardly be called a meow.

“She’s very shy but she loves chicken”, Patrik remarked, selected some pieces of chicken without the seasoning and handed them on a small plate to the waiting cat. I did the same because I still had one piece on my own plate. The cat seemed happy about our offerings and poked my leg with her head.

When we were collecting the dishes to the dishwasher, Patrik asked me a question that I didn’t expect.

“Did you tell Yusuke that you’re visiting me tonight?”

“Of course. I don’t keep secrets from him. He knows that we have a history and that you’re a very special person for me”, I replied feeling a blush spread on my cheeks.

“Would you like to come to bed with this special person or would you rather watch a movie?”

“I like beds more than movies, so…” I said trying hard not to blush again.

“I’m glad to hear that”, Patrik purred stroking my cheek.

“Can I open your hair now? I have always wanted to do it myself. I promise I will be careful.”

“Of course, you can, and I don’t mind little pinches.”

My hands shook a little, when I removed cautiously the four hairbands that tied up his ponytail. After that I spread his wavy hair on his shoulders and turned him to face me.

“There… You look very angelic”, I said admiring the beautiful man in front of me. “By the way, have you met Mikael lately?” I found myself asking although I had no intention to do so.

Patrik looked a bit puzzled but replied anyhow: “Actually, yes. I bumped into him yesterday at Helsinki and we had a cup of coffee together. He was busy, but it was nice to see him again… Why do you ask?”

“It’s just… I’ve been a bit worried, because I haven’t heard anything from him in a long time. But I guess he’s alright then.”

“Don’t worry, he seemed to be doing fine as far as I could tell”, Patrik assured me and stroke my cheek once more with his hand. “What about the bed?”

The sizzling energy flowing through his hand told me that that we were not alone. For some reason Sebastian, my guardian angel, was with Patrik again although he wasn’t supposed to.

“Yeah, sure… the bed… I’d love that.” I stammered knowing that something fantastic was about to happen. Making love with Sebastian was literally a heavenly experience and somewhat dangerous too, if he happened to forget that he was dealing with a frail human being like me.

“Let me kiss you first”, Patrik mumbled and pressed his soft lips onto mine. My mind exploded into stars and galaxies as I pushed my fingers into his hair and surrendered to a mind-blowing experience that I knew was coming.


	2. Consulting Sebastian

When I woke up in my bed, there was no-one there with me. I felt disoriented and reached out for my cell phone to check what time and day it was. It was 8am on Tuesday, 28th of July. Yusuke was in Japan, and Perttu had been here yesterday. I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I must have had a dream of Patrik or was it a vision of something happening in the future? I couldn’t tell. All I knew was that Patrik /Sebastian had given me one hell of a ride. He wanted his baby…

The more I thought about my dream, the more convinced I became that it was something taking place in the future. It was hard to tell what time of the year it was, but obviously not winter because there was still daylight at 18:30. I hadn’t talked to Patrik since I visited his home and brought him the textbooks, which was about a week ago. In my vision he was living with Naoki in some other apartment and Naoki was going to a wedding. Maybe I should ask Patrik what kind of plans they had for the future, when we would meet again on 3rd of August.

In my dream I had been worried about Mikael, but that applied also to my current situation. I wanted feverishly a chance to meet Sebastian, my guardian angel, but for that I would have to reach Mikael, who was Sebastian’s human disguise nowadays. The plan we made during Midsummer had failed and I wanted to know why. We should also discuss about what to do next.

Without further consideration I picked up my phone and selected Mikael’s number. To my disappointment he didn’t pick up my call. Perhaps he was having one of his numerous meetings with the members of his congregation, making plans for weddings, baptisms or funerals. When I couldn’t reach Mikael by phone, I sent him a message asking him to contact me as soon as possible. No reply. I waited until the evening, when his working day should be over, but even then, I couldn’t reach him. At that moment I started to get worried and considered calling Mikko. After a while, I gave up the idea and decided to wait till the next day and then try again. Maybe there was a natural explanation to Mikael’s silence.

I sighed of relief when my phone buzzed on Wednesday morning, but the call wasn’t from Mikael. It was Perttu, who was complaining that his butt was on fire after his riding lesson. I had great difficulties to stay serious, when he described the way he had to walk or sit at that moment. Of course, I tried to take his problem seriously and offered him my advice because there was no way he could skip his coming shows.

Mikael called me finally on Wednesday afternoon and apologized for his late response. As I had guessed, he had been sitting in meetings all day and after that headed for a long jog without his cell phone.

“Could you come by sometime this week? I have some personal matters that I’d rather discuss face to face with you.”

“I’m working on Saturday and Sunday, but we could meet on Friday, when I have a day off. Mikko is travelling from Thursday onwards so it will be very quiet at home.”

“Yeah, I know. If you come on Friday evening, we could have dinner together and relax after that by watching a movie or something. “

“Sounds promising! I will be there at six o’clock if it’s okay for you”, Mikael mused sounding satisfied.

Mikael’s schedule proposal was fine for me, so we agreed to meet on Friday evening. I crossed my fingers hoping that Sebastian would turn up together with Mikael. I needed to consult Sebastian in order to understand what happened and to plan my future.

I decided to serve Beef Stroganoff and pasta accompanied with Italian red wine at our dinner. This originally Russian dish contained stripes of beef stewed in sour cream with onions and brined pickles. I let my stroganoff stew for more than two hours to make sure the meat was tender. While the stroganoff was on its way, I had time to lay the table and consider my strategy for the evening.

Mikael turned up at my doorstep at six o’clock sharp. He was with a car so we might need the spare bed in my study. I had given Nina, Lumi’s nanny, a day off so that we could discuss the sensitive issues without disturbances.

“Ah, so nice to see you again!” I welcomed Mikael and gave him a warm hug.

Hugging him was an easy way to find out if Sebastian was with him or not. Besides, I loved Mikael’s hugs because his tall and sturdy body made me feel safe and wanted.

For some reason I couldn’t tell straight away if Sebastian was present. When Mikael had left his jacket and shoes in the hallway, I took him by the hand and lead him to my kitchen to show him my dinner preparations.

“I thought something non-Italian would be in order and prepared some Beef Stroganoff for us”, I told him trying to hide my panic.

I was now sure that Sebastian was not present in Mikael. I hadn’t considered at all the possibility that I would have to talk about my personal matters with Mikael instead of Sebastian.

“I don’t recall eating stroganoff before, so it will be an interesting experience”, Mikael grinned and lifted the lid of the pot to sniff the contents. “Hmm, this looks and smells delicious.”

Just at that moment my timer buzzed indicating that the pasta was ready.

“Can you please take the stroganoff pot to the table. There are metal coasters at the end of the table. I will bring the pasta. Would you like to have a glass of red wine with the meal?” I asked knowing that he adored Italian red wine.

“I’m with a car, so…”

“You’re welcome to use my study and the spare bed for the night like you did a while ago.” I proposed referring to the night when Mikael helped me with Lumi’s night feeding and prepared a sermon at my study.

“Okay, you talked me into it”, Mikael agreed slightly too quickly. Maybe he had counted on my hospitality based on his previous experience.

The panic I had momentarily felt vanished very quickly when I sat down at the table with Mikael and we both concentrated on enjoying our meal. Mikael was excellent company at the dinner table with his extensive knowledge of history and good sense of humor. He made my laugh my heart out by telling me about all the mishaps that had happened to him during weddings and funerals.

The more we talked the more his dark eyes and black curls stole my attention. I just had to tell him how I felt although I wasn’t sure it was wise under current circumstances.

“You remind me so much about the cherubs in the old Italian paintings”, I confessed lowering my eyes.

“You’re not the only one who has told me that, so maybe I’m a bit angelic”, Mikael admitted and reached out his hand to touch mine. From the heat of his hand I knew that Sebastian had arrived.

“A bit angelic is an understatement”, I purred turned on by Sebastian’s magnetic presence.

“Yeah, perhaps it is at the moment”, Sebastian grinned and withdrew his hand releasing me from his spell.

When my brain was working again, I remembered my disappointment and the questions that I was supposed to ask from Sebastian.

“I thought you had ditched me”, I said pouting my lips like an angry child.

“You know, I would never do that. I’m your guardian angel for better or for worse”, Sebastian assured me looking solemn.

“You obviously know that our plan failed and I’m not pregnant anymore. Do you have any idea, what went wrong?” I asked the most pressing question on my mind.

“One of the two eggs didn’t develop normally and caused a miscarriage. It’s common in all pregnancies but with two eggs the risk is higher considering your age. It was worth trying, but I recommend having one baby at a time.

“Yeah, I figured that out, too. It was a bad idea!” I admitted feeling angry and frustrated at myself.

My second question concerned Perttu and his fiancé Johanna.

“Perttu wanted us to try again, but I asked him to wait until Yusuke comes back and we know where we stand. Last time you mentioned that Perttu and Johanna can’t have children. Are you sure about that? This piece of information affects my decisions to a great extent.

“Yes, I am positive, but you must keep this information strictly to yourself. I’m not supposed to tell things like that to human beings, not even seers.”

“I’m not going to tell anybody because nobody would believe me if I did. Just for your information, I saw last night a dream, which I think was a vision of the future. You were again in Patrik’s body and we made love”, I said blushing as the vivid memory awoke my libido.

“Hmm, that sounds interesting. It looks like you’re making me break the rules over and over again.”

“I’m not making you do anything that you don’t want to, so please don’t blame me”, I snapped at Sebastian who looked at me astonished by my sudden outburst.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way. I just find it difficult to stay away from you and tend to break the rules because of that.”

“It sounds like you are falling in love with me. Correct me if I’m wrong, but aren’t guardian angels supposed to be incapable of feeling things like love and hate? “

“You’re right, we shouldn’t be capable of having feelings like that. I guess I’m a weirdo then”, Sebastian grinned with a gleam in his dark eyes.

“I once promised to myself that I wouldn’t compromise Mikael because of Mikko, but I’m not sure if I can keep that promise for very long. I’m having great difficulties with it right now and you’re not making it any easier for me…”

Lumi’s cry interrupted our loaded discussion. She was sleeping in my study but now it was time to change her into clean diapers and feed her. Sebastian proposed that he would clear the table while I took care of Lumi’s needs. I accepted his help gladly even though the thought of a guardian angel doing dishes felt a little absurd.

When I came back from the study carrying Lumi, the table was clean, the dishwasher was on and my guest was sitting on the couch browsing his cell phone.

“Any news from Mikko?”, I asked and sat beside him on the sofa.

“Mikko called me yesterday after the show at Pyhä and was very pleased with the acoustic gig they did. They are now flying to Romania.

“That’s good to hear… Would you like to entertain Lumi while I give the finishing touches to our dessert?”

“Yeah, sure. She loves to play with my curls”, Mikael/Sebastian replied and reached out his hands to take Lumi from me. My heart thudded when I realized that his hands felt normal again. Sebastian was gone!

I was so disappointed that I had to rush to the toilet to hide my tears. Sebastian had left without saying goodbyes or anything, just when I had finally surrendered to the thought that we would make love that night. I had no idea if he left voluntarily to keep us from making a mistake or if he was forced to leave. Whatever the reason was, the pain and disappointment almost tore my heart apart.

Eventually, I managed to pull myself together and hurried to the kitchen to torch the portions of crème brulee I had prepared beforehand. Mikael was a nice guy and deserved his dessert despite the heart break my unruly guardian angel had once more inflicted on me. 


End file.
